So good, so good, so good.

Ahhhh, yes, it's Friday and I'm listening to a little Neil Diamond.  You know, I thought that his name had to be a stage name, because, come on, Neil Diamond?  That is not a real name.  Well, according to Wikipedia it is.  Neil Leslie Diamond.  Personally, I choose to believe his name is Neil Fucking Diamond (mother fuckers!) because that's the only way his name could rock as hard as he does.

    Well, Hello, Again... Hello

I remember I was set up with a guy once and we were talking on the phone before our date and I said, "You know, Neil Diamond is one of the most prolific songwriters of our time."  Why would I say something that lame?  I have no idea.  Maybe that's why I didn't get married until I was 31?  Anyway, I don't think this guy knew what "prolific" meant, because he kept using it incorrectly.  Like I'd say something about the weather and he'd say, "Wow, that's really prolific." 

We only went on one date because he kept doing that and it totally cheesed me off.  Also, he had big weird fish lips.  And he kept e-mailing me after that and I had to get my friend Greg to write him a threatening e-mail so he'd leave me alone.  I think I told Greg that this guy drove a Jeep Cherokee and so in the e-mail he wrote something about how if fish-lips didn't leave me alone, Greg would make sure he was driving his Cherokee down the trail of tears.  Maybe not the most PC thing ever, but it worked!  I didn't marry that guy, and it's all thanks to Neil Diamond.

So, really, Neil brings only happy memories for me.  I even have happy memories of seeing that Neil Diamond cover band Super Diamond.  If they ever come through here again (or wherever you are) you should definitely check them out.  The singer, aptly called "Surreal Neil," sounds just like him.  And wouldn't that be the best job ever?  Singing Neil Diamond songs with a bunch of drunk-asses trying to molest you in your crushed velvet pants?  Awesome.  Not that I ever tried to molest him.  Because I didn't.  That was decided by a court of law, my friends.

And lest we forget his lyrics!  Some of them make no sense whatsoever, but they are just so catchy, you can't help but sing along!  Like this one from I am... I said:

Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of bein' a king
And then became one
Well except for the names and a few other changes
If you talk about me, the story's the same one

What's that Neil??  Did I ever "read about a frog who dreamed of being a king?"  Well, no, I can't say that I ever did.  BUT GOD, NOW I WISH I HAD!  Because what kind of awesome dream would that be?  And then he makes sure that we know he's not plagarizing the story, because he used a different name and made a few other changes.  He's totally on top of it.  Nobody wants a frog-prince on their ass about copyright infringement!

I don't know what it is about him or his songs that makes me just want to sing along until people start looking at me like I'm crazy and I wouldn't even care.  In fact, I don't think I know anyone who doesn't love to belt out "Sweet Caroline" or "Cherry Cherry" or "Cracklin' Rosie."  And then, of course, there's "Heartlight."  Yes, I know it's about E.T., but that's just it: He wrote a song about E.T. and we like it!  Don't tell me you don't like it, because I know you do.  I'm very prolific that way.

Comments

[Jenn]

I looooove Neil Diamond. I associate him with the smell of lemon scented Pledge. When I was little, my mom used to put on her Neil Diamond cassettes (her favorite was The Jazz Singer) while she was cleaning the house. A couple years ago, I took her to a Neil Diamond concert for her birthday. Oh, who am I kidding? I wanted to go and it was a good excuse. We had super close floor seats and he all kinds of rocked. And his shirt sparkled.