I have been very "busy" (read: lazy) as of late and have not actually gone to any actual stores to purchase Christmas gifts. Instead, I've been getting them all from Amazon because I can get free two day shipping as I am a member of Amazon Prime. Actually, ordering from Amazon serves two purposes: assisting me with my attempt to stay out of the mall during Christmas shopping season AND showing Joel that it was totally worth the $80 I had to shell out to become a member of Amazon Prime to begin with. (JOEL PLEASE DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE: it was probably totally not worth it, but I won't be admitting that to my husband any time soon.)
Today, as I was looking for presents for my two 5-year-old nephews, I came across this little peach in the 5-7 year old TOY section:
You might be asking yourself, "What, pray tell, is this?" Well, friends, this is a "Marshall Mathers Slim Shady Show Eminem Head Knocker." This is a real thing. Here is the link to its info on Amazon.com.
You might still be asking yourself, "Um... so, what the hell is this, exactly?" The manufacturer says this: "The new marshall mathers slim shady eminem bobble head knocker #2 doll by neca and is made of heavy thick resin, the eminem bobble head is highly detailed and stands 8 inches tall and is an awesome collectible! "
Ok, then. It's a bobblehead doll of Eminem/Slim Shady. I can see where, somewhere, there is someone who might want this item in their Christmas stocking. Who? Can't really say. I can tell you who shouldn't be getting this: ANYONE WHO IS BETWEEN THE AGES OF FIVE AND SEVEN YEARS OLD. Really, Eminem is most definitely not for children what with his constant references to drugs and sex and bitches and hos and his threatening to kill and/or rape his ex-wife and any other number of things to which children between the ages of 5 and 7 should probably not be privy.
Am I wrong? If I was a parent and someone gave this to my 5-year-old, that person would probably leave with it shoved up their behind. Have you ever received, or know someone who has received, a wholly inappropriate gift? Do you think that someone would see this in the 5-7 year old toy section on Amazon and say to themselves, "Yeah, that looks like a great gift for a kindergartner!"?
Huh. I don't remember Eminem having the eyebrows of Cro-magnon Man . . .
Posted by: kristin | December 15, 2008 at 12:30 PM
UM. WTF? Did that Amazon link teleport you back to 2000 or something? Talk about no longer culturally relevant.
Something tells me this is the same mold they used for the Vanilla Ice nodder, only with you know, a little more brow.
Posted by: Jennifer | December 15, 2008 at 05:07 PM