"There was alcohol involved..."

I said this at lunch today whilst recounting the story of when I met my friend Melanie's husband (who was her boyfriend at the time), Corey.  You see, Melanie introduced Corey to the group and I immediately piped up, "Hey Forrest!  Nice to meet you!"  After hearing this story, my co-workers looked at me and one asked, "How did you mistake 'Corey' for 'Forrest''?"  My answer?  "Well, there was alcohol involved."

And that got me thinking.  Do all of my interesting and/or funny stories have something to do with alcohol?  I know that anything happening prior to the age of 23 didn't, as I didn't take my first sip of alcohol until I was 23.  For instance, there was that one time I got lice from the beds at summer camp.  Or when I said the F-word and my mom found out and almost killed me.  Or... yeah, I don't have too many entertaining stories to tell from that period of my life.

Post-alcohol Carrie, though, seems to have a bevy of stories that delight and entertain audiences around the world!  That is, if my parents aren't in the audience; I don't think they'd be too delighted to hear some of these particular stories.

Like the time that I had come back to Utah after spending my last semester of law school in Las Vegas and I had gone to a party and I was cold, so I was (creepily) asking people to lay on top of me to keep me warm.  Hilarious!  Everybody loves that one!

Or when I went to visit a friend in Boise and conned my way into getting a free hot dog with the works from Sam the hot dog vendor!  Then, a couple of years later, seeing Sam on the streets of Boise again and getting ANOTHER free hot dog.  That is how charming I am when I'm a little lubricated, my friends.  (Also, big boobs don't hurt, as far as hot dog vendors go.)

Then, that one time in law school when I went to a party and ___________ and then I ___________ and then my friend fell off the porch and we all lost it.  (I left those blanks in there because you could pretty much fill them in with any number of crazy scenarios and you would have a pretty accurate account of any law school party I attended.)

Oooo!  Or when a couple of co-workers and I took the "fun" bus to Wendover (Nevada, about 1.5 hours from Salt Lake) and I won $450 playing craps.  Some guy, who was trying to pick me up, was putting down money for me and letting me keep all the chips.  This little excursion paid for a big chunk of my rent that month, in addition to allowing me to buy a very soft dark blue fake-fur coat, which still hangs in my closet to this day.  Good times, you guys. 

I could go on, but I don't want you to get the idea that I can only have fun if I have a couple of drinks.  Not true!  I was completely sober for my wedding, and that was the best day of my life!  I have fun every day at work and I'm never drunk there (for the most part)!  Kidding!  See?  I'm just as funny without a buzz on! 

However, I think that if you do ever get a chance to make some memories with Tipsy-Carrie, you should totally do it.  Drunk-Carrie is fun, too, but she can get a little messy... and handsy.  Yeah, just stick with Tipsy-Carrie and you should be on your way to some awesome stories of your very own.  YOU'RE WELCOME.

Comments

[Mel]

I love tipsy Carrie (and the Forrest story)! Didn't that happen at a 4th of July party or something up in PC?

[Carrie]

I think it was 4th of July. We were staying at the Yarrow? Whatever hotel is by that Albertson's on the way into PC. He'll always be Forrest to me! I hope he doesn't mind. Calling him by his actual name just feels weird and wrong.

[Mel]

I think that around you, he thinks his name is Forrest too.