And I'm on here writing this instead of concentrating on writing an appeal brief! Amazing, right? WRONG! I am nothing if not a master procrastinator. I was going to make myself a certificate, but, well, I saw something shiny and got distracted and ended up eating some Girl Scout cookies instead.
So, there are a few things I'd like to discuss with you today. First, our house is fantastic! I love it and wish I had met it before I met Joel so I could have married it instead! We're still getting settled in, but we're getting there. I've invited some friends over for dinner in a couple of weeks, so that gives me a deadline. A deadline that I will ignore until the very last minute until I am going crazy cleaning 15 minutes before they're supposed to get here and complaining about how this happens EVERY TIME and WHY do I even HAVE friends, in the first place? I'm a horrible person! No one should want to come to my house!
Perhaps, one day, I will post pictures of the house. Alas, that day is not today. Sorry. Suffice it to say, the wonderfulness of our house has brought some to tears... and this time it wasn't because of the weird odor. It was because it was actually wonderful!
Secondly, I think we have a renter for our condo. Finally. I was so excited that she actually returned our rental application that I almost sent her flowers and a promise come tuck her in every night.
Also, after some real soul searching, I have realized that the reason the condo hasn't rented yet is my big fat mouth. Joel helpfully pointed this out to me on Sunday, after I told a prospective renter that, if he's lucky, he might get a front row seat to watch the cops hassle the homeless people hanging out across the street at the library. Who doesn't want that? I once saw a cop talking to a homeless dude and the dude whipped it out and started peeing on a wall right in front of the cop. Amazing, right? Not really a selling point, or so I've been told.
Next up: Tomatoes. We are growing some tomato seedlings right now and I am peeing my pants because I'm so excited. Every day, I go home and gaze at them lovingly just as if they were my own newborn children. Every time a new sprout comes up, I make sure to tell it how happy it will be making me in about 3-4 months. So, so happy, you guys.
In other news: I need to know where I can get a panda. I think that God wants me to have one, because why else would he provide me a house that has a bamboo forest in the back yard? Yes, the previous owners planted a bunch of bamboo because... who can say? I have no Earthly idea. But what I do know is this: Pandas eat bamboo. It makes perfect sense to me, then, that we should get a panda. However, apparently, pandas are pretty rare and hard to procure. So, I think I will have to settle for this:
Hey! You got your dog in my panda!
Lastly, I have invented a new pseudo-swear. The next time you're surrounded by children/grandparents/clients/Jesus, instead of dropping the F bomb, simply replace it with "firetruck". Example: "What the firetruck?" Or maybe: "Shut the firetruck up!" It's pretty awesome, right? Right? Well, if you don't think so, you can go firetruck yourself. See? Awesome.
That picture of the panda is . . . not cute. Eek. And if you have the spreading kind of bamboo, you are shit out of luck, my friend, because it will take over your yard and that of your neighbors, possibly the whole state. You've been warned.
But yay for the house and happy tears!
Posted by: kristin | April 07, 2009 at 06:58 PM
I can't wait for dinner! Hopefully the weather will improve by then so I can explore your backyard more thoroughly.
Posted by: Jen | April 07, 2009 at 07:56 PM
I'm waiting for my dinner invitation. See, that's what you get for posting your private information on your blog. just kidding. You totally don't have to invite me.
Posted by: Mel | April 07, 2009 at 09:43 PM
That panda dog is firetruckin' awesome.
Posted by: Heather | April 08, 2009 at 09:14 AM
Bamboo? Speaking as a former Pier One employee, you need to start selling that crap to them. And then grow yourself a, uh, wicker garden. (Here's where I admit I really don't know where the firetruck wicker comes from, but I do know that 99.9% of items in Pier One are made from it.)
Posted by: jive turkey | April 09, 2009 at 01:13 PM
That is the greatest dog I have ever seen!!
I would get one if it weren't for my mean spirited cats.
Posted by: Via | April 09, 2009 at 04:54 PM
The dog’s tongue is black. The upper lip is black too. Why do dogs obsessively lick their nose?
Posted by: Joel | April 22, 2009 at 09:16 AM