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What's bugging me today?

This is totally bugging me:

This picture was in an article from Us Weekly about Taylor Swift and John Mayer possibly dating.  Which, ew, he's old enough to be her, well, older brother I guess, since he's only 12 years older than her.  Still, ew.  BUT, do you see what the caption says?  "She was so blatant!" 

What the hell is that supposed to mean?  It doesn't really explain it in the article.  All it says is they ate dinner with 8 other people and she giggled at him.  It also says that she made "sexy faces" at him when they performed together in December.  Is that what she's doing in the picture?  Making blatantly sexy faces?  Was she blatantly holding the mic like she was practicing to give John a handy backstage after the show? Was she blatantly showing off her armpits... because that's sexy?  What's up with that?

It seems like I've seen this somewhere...

So, I've totally yanked this idea from a local newsguy here in SLC (who probably stole it from someone else, who probably thought they came up with it themselves, but really they also stole it, and on and on): I am going to start buying things sold on TV, trying them, and writing reviews of each product so you will know if you can't live without it.  I've been wanting to do this for a while and I'm kind of psyched about it!

Here are the rules: I will buy a new item from this site  every couple of months.  I will also take suggestions about what you might like to see me try.  I will try anything that is reasonably priced (read, hopefully under $50 or so) and won't physically harm me in some way (so no things that claim to help you lose a million pounds in three days).  So, if there's something you've seen being sold on TV and you don't want to try it yourself, let me do it for you!  Tell your friends and family!  I'll need suggestions because I can't watch that much TV and that website is so packed with stuff that I can't look at it all!  After I give it a good try, I'll let you all know how it turned out.

For the inaugural useless item will be: the Listen Up!  I saw the commercial for this thing and immediately became intrigued because it says you can listen to conversations up to 100 feet away!  Do you ever wonder if those bitchy moms at the playground are talking about how you always go to the store in your pajamas?  Now you can know!  Sound too good to be true?  I guess we'll find out!

The only reason I passed Conflicts

I found out today that a friend from law school committed suicide this weekend.  He wasn't my best friend, or anything close to it.  What he was, however, was one of my favorite people I met during my three years of law school.

He was a year ahead of me, so we didn't share any classes; at least, I can't think of any that we had together.  He was good friends with a group of people that were friends with people I was friends with, so we went to some of the same parties and other school-related events.  And he made me laugh.  So much so that there were a lot of times we'd be talking and I would have to stop him because I (a) couldn't breathe, (b) peed my pants, or (c) both at the same time. 

We went out a couple of times, mostly to talk about school; he had gone on the study abroad program our school offered to London and I was really interested in going.  We met for dinner and a few beers to talk about it.  We talked about our schedules and he loaned me a textbook for Conflicts of Law, with a professor who relied very heavily on the Socratic Method.  Having that book is the only reason I even came close to passing that class.

You see, a lot of times in law school, people will make "outlines" of a class, kind of a road map of how a class will go.  With this particular professor, you could have an outline that had been made five years before you took the class and you'd be ok because he never changed anything.  Every year was the same thing.  Well, when I borrowed my friend's book, I thought he'd give me his outline, too, but what he gave me was so much more spectacular.  Inside his book, he had written, almost verbatim, every question the professor asked and the correct answer to said question.  I am not kidding you when I say that there were times I was called on in class and the ONLY reason I was able to answer any of the questions was because of that book.  And I fully credit my B+ in that class to him, because no way was I getting any extra credit for class participation on my own.

I have to admit that I did my fair share of shaking my head at some of the stranger things he's done.  There are some stories about him that make absolutely no sense because they just don't fit with the guy I know.  They started making more sense, though, when I found out that he had been diagnosed with schizophrenia and that he wasn't taking his medication.

I'm not sure why he felt this was the only way out for him.  I hope he didn't feel like no one would miss him or people wout be better off without him, because that's totally not true.  I for one, would have jumped at the chance to tell him how great I thought he was.  Or how, back in the day, I had a little crush on him because he was so cute and nice and because of the way he could tell a funny story like nobody's business.  I would also thank him for giving me something to look forward to during school, because just talking to him would really make my day.

He hasn't lived in Utah for a few years and the last time I talked to him was a couple of years ago.  He called me at work out of the blue.  I wish I could remember what we talked about, but really all I can remember is that I was surprised that he called and that I was happy to talk to him.  And I think that is how I'll always feel when thinking of him.  I'm so sad that he's gone, but at the same time I'm glad that I was lucky enough to know him, and that will make me happy.

It probably seemed like a good idea at the time

Last Summer Joel and I went to Park City to meet some friends for dinner prior to their departure to Germany for three freaking years.  We met them at a house they rented, which was situated waaay up the side of a mountain above Park City.  On the way down to the restaurant, we saw this:

Can you believe that?  I wish I had a better phone because what you can't see is that trampoline is basically on the side of a hill.  A steep hill.  A steep hill with so many stairs, that on the way back up (yes, we had to climb back UP.  And these people call themselves my friends.  They obviously wanted me to die.) Joel had to figure out some complicated pulley system to pull me to the top.  It was really quite spectacular.
 

Rise of the Machines

You guys, I totally forgot to tell you: We got a Roomba.  I think that, over the past three years, Joel has come to understand that I don't clean.  I mean, I will clean, but I let the mess get to, like, guy-gross proportions.  This is why Joel finally gave in and we are now the proud owners of a real-life robut.  Sure all it does is vacuum, but that's all I need it to do!  Plus, I'm hoping that one day we will be able to get Peanut to do something like this:

 

Would that not be awesome?  The answer is yes... wait, no?  What is the answer to that question?  In any case, I love the Roomba!  My new favorite thing is making Joel come and look at all of the dirt and hair and pet hair and dirt it picks up.  I had no idea, but Joel, Lucy, Peanut, and I are some dirty mo-fos.  I let it go about once a week and, MY GOD, it is gross how much it picks up!  You have to come see it so we can look at it and go, "EWWWW!" together.  Good times at Carrie's house, everybody.  Good times.

Unobtainium. Really?

We saw Avatar yesterday.  I will say this: It didn't suck as much as I thought it would.  It was actually, sigh, not that bad.  I went in with extremely low expectations.  Just from hearing people talk about it, I was sure that I wouldn't like it.  This is because I like my movies to have things like depth, character development, and, I don't know, a storyline that wasn't stolen from Pocahontas.  With things like "unobtanium" and the "Na'vi"... I was worried that James Cameron was going to think too hard and sprain his brain.

Having seen the movie, however, I understand why the story doesn't need to be deeper than a splash pool in my mom's back yard.  Wow.  Almost the entire movie was CGI, but somehow it didn't feel like it.  You didn't really notice that everything was, well, fake.  We saw it in 3D and, honestly, I wouldn't want to see it otherwise.   It was awesome!  There were a couple of times, mainly with bugs or other little things flying around, I had to fight the urge to reach up and brush them from my face.  It was pretty cool and I recommend seeing it just for that.  Really, you won't be disappointed.

Now, there are a couple of things that I would like people to do for me the next time they go to the movies.  First, if there are assigned seats, sit in your assigned seats.  I don't care if you think the movie's not sold out and no one is going to sit in the empty seats, just sit in the seats on your tickets and next time buy your tickets a little earlier so you can have better seats.  Because you know what's really annoying?  Being interrupted by an usher after the movie has started because you and your three kids thought it would be ok to just take any old seat in the theater.  And then, once you move, the people who bought those seats have to move their rather large behinds (along with tubs and tubs of popcorn, what I think could be considered a vat of soda, and and shload of cotton candy) past us so they can take their rightful seats.

Secondly, get to the movie on time.  No, strike that.  Get to the movie at least 5 minutes before it's scheduled to start.  This is especially important if the movie theater has assigned seating.  You know why?  Because, I don't know about you, but most people can't see all that well in the dark.  Most people would have a hard time spotting the row number in broad daylight, let alone in a darkened theater.  So, when you come bumbling in after the movie starts and have to climb over everyone to get to a seat, it really bums me out.  So stop it.

Finally, and I can't believe I have to say this, don't talk through the whole movie.  I mean, a comment here and there is acceptable.  I'm guilty of that myself (but, to be fair, everything I say in a movie is hilarious and should-- no MUST-- be shared immediately).  But if you have to explain everything to your friend because they just don't get it, maybe you should consider getting new friends.  OR if you bring a child to a movie with subtitles, make sure that kid can read because hearing you read said subtitles to that kid will drive me bonkers. 

It's a Brand New Year! My resolution?

Blog more.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "But, Carrie, January is half over and this is your first post.  Wouldn't that be a resolution fail?" 

First, thanks for reading!  Secondly: Shut up!  I didn't even make this resolution until, like, 5 minutes ago, so I think I'm doing pretty well!  I'm going to try really, really hard to keep this one.  And you know what would help me out?  Comments.  Lots of comments so I can know that these words aren't just flowing from my heart out into the vast wasteland that is the blogosphere. 

Again, I know what you're thinking: "Yeah, right, your words are flowing from your 'heart.' I knew they were coming from somewhere, but I was thinking it was somewhere a little bit lower."  And again, I say, thanks for reading!  Also, shut up some more.

Resolutions and I really don't mix all that well.  I think that the only one I've ever really been able to keep was the one year I resolved to drink more water.  And I totally did.  I drank so much water, I had to move my desk into the bathroom.  I did it for an entire year.  And then I never drank water again (unless it also had vodka in it (and even then it wasn't really "water" so much as "tonic")).

And this year, I am resolving to blog more.  And I probably even have some stuff to blog about.  Like, for instance, my dog has cancer and will probably die soon.  There's an entry right there.  Also, Joel and I are going to Germany to visit our friends Jess and Sarah in May.  That's got to be good for a couple of entries.  Maybe even some pictures?  Who knows?  And there has got to be some stuff from the last, say, six months of not blogging that I could squeeze into a couple of entries.  Easy peasy, right?  Hopefully it will be as easy as I am finding my other resolution, which is to drink more wine.  I am doing very well with that one, thanks very much.

Until next time, which will be soon!  I promise!  We got a new computer for Christmas and I can blog while Joel plays Assasin's Modern Mariokart II or something.  It will be awesome.  And, for those of you who like pictures, here's a picture of Lucy:

Home again, home again...

Huzzah!  I'm back from Portland with a bit of a sunburn (natch) and a lot of R&R under my ever-expanding belt.  It was a fun trip and, just like all of my illogical fears, my office did not explode without me.  Phew!  In fact, while there was a pile of stuff on my chair when I got here this morning, it wasn't the mountain of crap that I was expecting.  Even though my hearings did not go over as well as I thought they would (or should have), everything is going to be ok!

Here are some things I learned on my trip:

• Never wear that green shirt for anything but yard work or bumming around the house ever again.  Especially do not take pictures of self while wearing that shirt. 
• Always rent a car when your husband is 6' 6" and your hosts drive a 1994 Saturn sedan and a 2005 Toyota CRV.  He will not fit!
• If you are staying with someone for 6 days and nights, get a hotel room for at least 3-4 days, both for your sanity and that of your hosts.
• Beer festivals, wherever they may be, are awesome.  Beer festivals that include 80 different craft beers, including watermelon beer, toasted coconut beer, several raspberry beers, and (my favorite) a dark hefeweizen are even awesomer.
• Your tall husband will not fight someone just because that person is taller than he is, no matter how many times you tell him he should.  He just will not do it.  Because he is lame.
• You can get sunburned when it is cloudy and 65 degrees at the beach.
• The Tillamook Cheese Factory is, perhaps, the best damn place on the planet Earth.

We actually took a lot of pictures, which I will try to post later this week.  I visited my friend Rachel during this trip and she told me that I need to post more pictures on my blog, so I will try to take her advice.  Of course, when she told me this, I said that I already knew I needed more pictures, but it's just too hard to get them from the camera to the computer... there are so many wires (there's 1) and it takes so long to upload them (it takes, like, 5 minutes) so, really, you can see why I wouldn't want to post a lot of pictures.  Yeah, we'll see how that goes.

Now, get back to work!!

Vacation Schmaycation

We're going on a trip!  Tomorrow evening, Joel and I will head out to Portland, OR to visit Joel's brother and his brother's husband.  I'm sure it will be a very fun trip and I already have researched a ton of stuff to do (including a BEER FESTIVAL, about which I almost peed myself with excitement when I found out it was happening the weekend we're there) and I'm excited to see my brothers-in-law.  So, that's that... except... I'm filled with dread about it.  Not the trip itself, because I think that will be fun, but I'm filled with dread about what will be going on here while I'm gone.

When we planned this trip all the way back in April, I had nothing going on.  Just business as usual.  However, May, June, and July have just been SLAMMED and it doesn't show any signs of slowing down.  Add this to the fact that I inadvisedly scheduled two hearings first thing in the morning the day after I get back, and you get an anxiety-ridden Carrie who just knows that the shit-storm facing her when she returns may not be worth the actual taking of the vacation.  I'm going to do my best to just let it all go, but it's hard.

This may have to do with the fact that the last time I went on a trip to Portland, I got fired from my job 3 days after getting back.  I doubt this will happen at my current place of employment, but the fear still lingers; the fear that I'll have forgotten something really important, something that only I can take care of or I'm the only one who can remember or I'm the only one who knows anything about it because I forgot to write notes or tell someone about it... because apparently I'm the center of the office universe and nothing can be done without me.

But, this isn't true at all!  There are very fine people here who can pretty much do anything I can do (better), but the worry is still there.  The anxiety about it is just sitting in the back of my head, smoking a cigarette, waiting until the most inopportune time to bust out with a panic attack.  I don't know if I'll be able to forget about what's happening at the office while I'm hanging out at the replica of Stonehenge, but I'm going to give it my best shot.  I think the beer will help.  And I hear Oregon has some pretty awesome wine country, too... maybe it won't be so bad after all?  In fact, I think I have a solution: never come home.  Right?  No?  Damn.

See you in a week!

Apparently there is no end to this trend