(First, some business: Kristin is the ONLY person who gave me a list of all of the misspelled words in my previous entry. Thus, Kristin wins a fabulous prize which is: a $25 gift certificate to Amazon.com! Congratulations for spotting all of the wrong words and making them right. So, next time I say I'm a-gonna give a prize, y'all better step up because you know I'm serious as a heart attack. Kristin, if you will please e-mail me the best e-mail address where I can send your fabulous prize, you will get it forthwith!)
Now let's get down to brass tacks. This weekend we were watching something on TLC and we saw a commercial for a show called Purity Balls. (I've been trying to think of something good and dirty to add on to this title, but I must have killed a few too many brain cells at the election party I went to last night. Thanks a lot OBAMA! No, really, because I can only imagine how much I would have had to drink to console myself if McCain had actually pulled it off. I apologize for failing you, but would also love to hear if you can come up with something for me.)
Ok, here's the thing: I totally DVR'd that shit and watched it last night. Sweet hairy Jesus that was creeeeeepy. Basically, it was about a "movement" in America ("real America" as my friend Sarah P. would say) wherein fathers pledge to protect their daughters' virginity and the daughters pledge to keep it in their pants until their wedding day. Not only that, but they won't even KISS until after they're married!! They celebrate this pledge with a full on ball where the girls get all dressed up and dance around with their dad's like they're at some kind of Appalachian prom.
One of the fathers said something like, "How cool would it be if you could say, 'I've kissed but one man in my life.'" Um... it would totally be NOT COOL. When questioned about what she would do if she got married and found out that she didn't like how her husband kissed, the girl (age 13, I think) said "Oh, I'm sure I'll like it. I know he'll be a really good kisser." Or something along those lines. The good thing is, she'll never know if he's not a good kisser because she won't have anything to compare it with.
Another girl said that she and her FIANCE didn't even hold hands (and avoided any other physical touching) because it would be distracting and would keep them from getting to know eachother's hearts. Whaaaa? She was very sincere when she said it, too, but it was that kind of "Oh, look at how pure and holy I am!" sincerity that drives me absolutely insane. Because Jesus cares if you and your future husband fucking held hands before you were joined in holy matrimony. Finger banging? Probably not approved by our Lord. But I'm pretty sure there's nothing in the Bible that forbids holding hands.
I've been trying to figure out why this bothers me so much, but I can't exactly put my finger on it. It seemed to me that this wasn't something that the daughters came to themselves, it was the fathers making this choice for their daughters. They look like they're teaching their daughters how God wants them to remain "pure," but at the heart of it, they're trying desperately to remain in control of their place at the center of their daughters' world. Little girls adore their fathers and these fathers are using those feelings to take any actual choice out of the equation. The girls don't even think about dating unless their father inspects and approves of the man. It seems that most of them didn't date at all unless they felt they would be marrying the person a few months after meeting them. They're trying so hard to live up to the promises they made to their fathers that they're not really making a choice for themselves, they're making it for their father and I think that, down the road, it's a decision they're going to regret.
If you want, click here and you can see some clips, but I would encourage you to try to find it on TLC and watch it yourself.